JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
