The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
