There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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