there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize