If i come over, it means nothing
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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