thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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