im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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