Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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