At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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