Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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