Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
