He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just invented taco cereal.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
