Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize