My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize