I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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