do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So squirting runs in the family.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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