just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
