I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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