and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
