need another drink. this is the easiest way
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
