Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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