Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
