I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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