there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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