I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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