I wish I could teleport
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
