i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
