Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
