I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
