Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
