Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
