I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
