im having a threesome with these popsicles
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
