I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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