thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
