did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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