when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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