he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
