the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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