I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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