yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
