before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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