Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's rum buckets o'clock
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