turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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