Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
