I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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