his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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