i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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