Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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