we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize