so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
