Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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