Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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