everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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