it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
