My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
