You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you made out with another girl for some wings
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
