I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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