Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
